Anubha Kothari

Overview

I offer you my lived experience of heartbreak, divorce, and self-discovery. My hope is that in some tiny way this will make the world a better place.

My hallmark qualities
    Empathetic listener + a calming presence — I make you feel comfortable
    Genuine curiosity + powers of perception and intuition — I understand you deeply, even the parts you can’t articulate
    Truth-seeking mindset + insightful and analytical problem-solving — We find what’s most effective for your particular situation
    Exposure to multiple cultures and value systems — I comprehend a range of attitudes regarding love, relationships, work, and family; I effortlessly hold opposing ideas in my mind at the same time
    Professional and educational versatility — I’m familiar with varied life paths and motivations, especially in high-stress and achievement-oriented environments (LinkedIn)

My core values
    Curiosity — Being open-minded, humble, and inquisitive helps us get to the root cause of issues
    Integrity — A respect for the truth and for keeping one’s word leads to lasting healing and connection
    Compassion — Understanding and alleviating suffering makes us a healthier, happier, and more humane society

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My Story

Of all the things my younger self thought I might do when I grow up, I didn’t think that I’d be helping people with heartbreak or working on emotional well-being more generally. But in light of my experiences and my gifts, it feels inevitable.

Five years ago, in the wake of a divorce, I was very much heartbroken. I took to the task of healing and rebuilding myself with all the tenacity and rigor of a researcher (see my background below). I pored over materials related to love, relationships, mental health, trauma, and spirituality. I attended conferences devoted to mental health and wisdom. Although I sought out multiple perspectives, I never took any advice at face value. I had all the dating adventures (so you don’t have to!) and I learned from them. I looked inward: meditating and journaling regularly, working through all my emotions, and reflecting on life’s big questions. I made inquiries into other people’s stories too.

I learned that with the right support and inner work, one can keep one’s heart open and live a life of peace, joy, and dignity. In fact, heartbreak can even offer a doorway to freedom. Via a humbling process of change, it can force you to confront your fears, strip yourself of your false beliefs, and get past your mental chatter. To love what you see of yourself and be true to yourself, and yet, to recognize that this self is an illusion and not to be taken too seriously. To accept what you cannot change (but without devolving into apathy or resignation), to cultivate patience, gratitude, and compassion, and to say a big bold yes to all of life. For all these reasons, heartbreak can be a wonderful, transformative gift.

I found that people increasingly opened up to me and found me soothing. They wanted me to be that keen listener that I am and to sort out their problems with empathy, honesty, and kindness. They often told me I have uncanny insight into the human psyche and a spidey sense for detecting patterns. I left my job as a product manager at Amazon to figure out how I could make use of these gifts and my new-found knowledge. I interviewed others affected by heartbreak and explored their needs. And, well, here I am.

I feel luckier with each passing day and I know that the best days of my life are here. I want the same for you. If I can be of service to you, please let me know.


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Personal & Professional Background

I was born in India and lived in India and Singapore prior to moving to the U.S. in my high-school years. These moves have made me endlessly fascinated by diverse cultures and languages.

My academic training reflects my inherent curiosity about anything and everything. I earned a PhD in Linguistics, as well as degrees in Computer Science (BS) and Management Science (MS), from Stanford University. I completed additional coursework in Design Thinking and Entrepreneurship as a Mayfield Fellow.

Professionally, I have 5+ years of experience as a product manager building consumer-facing technology products at companies like Amazon and eBay, which has helped me learn about product development, workplace psychology, and corporate culture. My LinkedIn profile has more information, if you should desire to investigate.


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